Nothing
that
serious
thank god, has hapened in my life, but I have been feeling extremely, extremely low as of recently. I don’t know why, considering the amazing month of Ramadan is taking place.. and yes I have been fasting the entire month so far, but i still don’t know.
I can’t even explain how I’m feeling. I just started school, and over the summer I was extremely depressed. I thought when I started school, I would get busy and be okay, and I have been happier lately, but this feeling, this feeling has just washed over me recently, and I dont know what to do.
My self esteem has really gotten low. I have been doing some soul searching, and it’s really been difficult for me. I see these girls at school, and they’re like beautiful, and thye’re amazing at so many things. Gymnastics, soccer, all types of sports, and they’re just such amazing students. I’m not stupid. I’m taking the highest courses a my school, but I still feel like I don’t have my “thing.” LIke a hobby that I’m amazing at. I feel like I’m average at everything. And I do have dreams. After the Olympics aired, I was so inspired, that I knewww i wanted to go to the Olympics. Nastia Liukin.. she’s friggin 16! I saw such amazing people who weren’t much far from my age.. and it got me thinking. What am I good at? and the answer so far has been nothing. I love gymnastics. People may say it’s haraam, but if you wear proper hijab and cover up, then i dont feel it could be that bad. I, feel as if i’m not good at anything. I used to LOVE track.. but now, all of that mabition and determination has faded away. And that’s where my self-esteem comes into play. I feel ugly. I feel like I have no self-worth. I can’t currently pray, but when I could, I was praying all throughout Ramadan.
And then there’s the “western lifestyle.” I think about where I’m going in life, and I think about if I’m really enjoying my life as a kid. I didn’t have the strongest upbringing, and my parents aren’t religious, so I do find myself stuck between the too worlds. I’m a teen, and I’m again not going to lie. Everyone at my age is going out and having fun, and this is just the beginning. What happens when they start to go out and party and have a good time. I’m a human being. My iman is not that strong. I do want to have fun. And sometimes I do think, wow, i wish i could go out and party. I do wish I could talk to buys, because I’m a teen, and that is what I want to do at my age. I don’t talk to boys much, but lets face it, don’t girls at 15 want to? I never go out. And it’s just been a whirlwindof questions… should I go to my prom, should I hang out with boys.. just finding a balance has been tough..
And I’ve just been sad lately. Like, at school, i look out at school, and I feel as if I don’t belong in my small town. I live in the suburbs on NYC, and here’s this world-class hs called Stuyvesant High School there. The only way to get in is to take this test, and if you pass, you get free admission. It’s an amazing school. Located in NYC, it’s one of the best specialized Hs’s in the country. I really, really, really , really, really, really wanted to go there. I love the city, and it would be AMAZING to goto school there. But since I don’t technically live in NYC, I can’t apply. That basically crushed all hopes. I dont like my town. I’m not popular at school, and I just don’t like being there..
THE POINT : I need help. Theset are just the surface of how Im feeling at the moment. I feel like I have no purpose. I want to achieve something great and I don’t see it in sights. I don’t feel needed, and I’m debating whether I should party..
I know most people won’t be able to understand my problems, but Allah definitely will. Should I do isthikhara? Would it help? Please.. i hate this feeling. (MY KEYBOARDS ALL MESSED UP)
#*#* P.S –> Idont do gymnastics, I saw Nastia Likuin, and I wanted to START, but it’s wayyyyyyyy too late.
Try and complete the month of Ramadan, and see if you feel better. If you still don’t, don’t worry, you don’t have low self esteem. It is just a phase.
As for going out to the parties and such, you can do that, however none that have alcohol or drugs, I myself am 16 years old so I know that 80% of parties have alcohol or drugs. Just stay away from them, I am a Muslim and I have managed to do so quite easily.
The other girls in your year, what do they truly have? After 5 years their artificial ‘beauty’ will begin to fade, and they will wonder why they did not spend more time working instead of having fun. You on the other hand will be a sensible person, having a good job and a good life.
Talking with boys is fine BUT DON’T DO IT WHEN THERE ARE NO OTHER PEOPLE AROUND. Also, don’t go out with boys alone, you can easily develop a good relationship with a boy while your with other people or friends.
Everyone has a talent, you just need to find it. I bet you are excellent at a certain sport or subject!
I see what you mean….hobbies it doesn’t have to be in sports hun…you can really really really bring yourself ouf if you join clubs at school..such as the key club, we used to have tons..choose one that ur interested in..you get to know more people closely..and thats how I met many of my friends..cuz its different than when ur in class..you have to take notes..ur won’t be able to move around much and talk…Honestly if your not praying..the whole Ramadan won’t count… SWEAR TO you by Allah that if you pray this whole feeling might go away…I used to be like you…why can’t I go to the prom..why can’t I do this..but I got over it…I did talk to guys..but in limits..Give me thumbs down..I don’t see a problem with talking to guys…but make sure they give you the respect you deserve..or else don’t talk to them…you don’t have to talk to them for a relationship..friends is just right…
You can’t go to that high school..who cares…ur university is what people later on will look for…work hard now so that you can apply to the best one!!! that’s when your hopes will come in place
there is no need to do isthikhara…cuz what are you going to do Istikhara is only good if you are confused between to things and can’t decide so
I wish you the best of luck hun
There are two ways to get really good at a hobby. Either you have an abusive parent or you totally love to do it. At age 15 you should start meditating. That will help you get the clarity of mind to figure out what makes you happy. Within three years you’ll be old enough to consider boys for marriage so just hang on. Once you are in a relationship you might find that life sucks even more than it does now. Why not travel? You are old enough to get an afterschool job and save your money. Come up with a goal, like you want to visit Istanbul, and save up! My kids are taking gymnastics. They love it. But we don’t worry about the Olympics. The important thing is staying in shape and having fun. A kid needs to have fun. Most of the western “fun” will put you at risk of herpes or other diseases so trust me you are not missing anything. But you really do need to search inside yourself and find out what you really want out of life and ask Allah to help you succeed. Because God really wants you to succeed and He loves it when you ask for all your desires. If you feel ugly, go get a makeover or buy some new clothes. If you want to feel needed, go and volunteer for something or get a babysitting job. Probably what you really need is a job. Once you have a pile of money you will have a lot more choices in life.
Please don’t waste your youth being sad because it doesn’t get any better. Every decade that passes has more and more stress and more challenges and less and less free time and less and less freedom. When you are married you will have to worry about cooking and cleaning and wiping babies’ butts and you will wish you could be 15 again. Don’t waste your time worrying about stupid boys unless they are interested in getting married soon otherwise you are just going to get more depressed. Maybe you should fall in love though. My husband is 14 years older than me. I really wish I met him when I was a teenager and married him then. Instead I had to be alone so many years. Maybe you should start reading a lot of books. Have you read the autobiography of Malcolm X? Or how about the diaries of Isabella Eberhardt? She was one of the first converts to Islam. Start keeping a diary and keep track of all your hopes dreams fears and feelings. Write poetry. Join the anti-war movement and go to protests. That’s always fun. There are a lot of things you can do. Don’t waste your life.
My advice to my daughter is to get married at age 17 but use birth control. then she can have fun and have self esteem. I totally regret waiting until I was 26 to get married, and then I got pregnant on my wedding day. So basically I wasted my entire 20s either being sad and lonely or stressed out. Men are only fun in bed until the age of 45 so please do not wait until you have a PhD to get married, you’ll totally regret it.
i agree with the first answer, but not entirely with the answer above mine. you shouldnt get married young. dont waste your life. educate your mind and make something of yourself. when you make your parents proud, its as if the whole world is proud of you. dont worry about anything else. wat are parties gonna do for you? and poularity? who cares? just live your life the way you want to and you have to make sure that your parents are okay with it and that it does not go out of islam. good luck
have a nice day
No matter what bad happens and your life is a misery, allah will be their for you til the end.